The Ashes Tour: The (After)Life of Brian

I never imagined that after 11 years I’d still be ash-dropping the boy all over but now in the home stretch, I’m impatient to complete the journey. Not tired of the adventures of course – and I’ll never get bored with the travel – just keen to see what the finale looks like and to give the thumbs up to a job well done. With life whizzing by and only European destinations (apart from any more randoms) remaining, I fancied knocking over the last seven in 2025 in one big, glorious sendoff.

But what’s easy-peas in my head often takes a bit more organising in real life. My buddy Glenda wanted to do Greece and as I was keen to revisit Lemnos and its people, we had two and a bit weeks together in that country before she flew home and I pushed on to Naples and the rest of the trip. Brian’s already in several spots in Greece but this time I also brought a little Ken with me, leaving him in Platy in the garden of our favourite eatery. We had been ambivalent about tying the knot at this stage of life but decided that if we did, Taverna Kalouditsa would be the perfect venue.

Travelling solo after Glenda and I parted wasn’t a problem… trying to fit the seven remaining destinations into one trip however was just insane. Accepting the truth of this I moved the finish date into the future and focused on Naples, the next logical stopover after Athens. It might be known as “the birthplace of pizza” but the more I heard about its dark side, the more uneasy I grew. Every cautionary anecdote chipped a bit off my resolve and when an especially fearless mate pulled a face and warned me to be extra vigilant there, real doubt set in.

That’s the problem with reviews, even informal ones – they’re subjective, yes, but a negative one can really beat down your enthusiasm. So rather than dithering further I reminded myself of the bad press other places had copped – places that had turned out to be loads of fun – and opted for reasonable safeguards and a “shit can happen anywhere” approach. Brian had been there as part of a tour group (and of course he’d been several decades younger than my 70 years) but surely he wouldn’t have nominated anywhere too risky.

Time to trust luck and the universe – and Naples! Chaotic, Fun, Misunderstood! The Facebook group dedicated to promoting a more positive image of the city is aware of its dodgy reputation and earnestly refutes any criticism. Based on their advice and feedback I rebooked to a better neighbourhood and went with their day-tour recommendations for Herculaneum and Capri. In the time I was there my personal safety was only in question once, and that was more perception than reality. There’s no ignoring the city’s wobbly infrastructure but its history, rich culture and cuisine give it an unmatched vibrancy. My b&b on Riviera di Chiaia exemplified this – there was definite crumbling in its exterior and its ongoing repairs were a noisy inconvenience, but despite the building’s rundown façade and 300+ years, its suites are superbly renovated and very comfortable.

I explored as much of the city as I could manage and met some interesting characters, but sailing across to Capri it was a relief to be away from the dark stone walls and dim alleyways. The waterfront and Vesuvius were sunlit from a distance and the salty Tyrrhenian Sea air was a relief after all that urban grunge. The port at Capri was predictably crowded with tourists but so upbeat and colourful. A Swedish solo traveller I met while we were waiting for our ferry asked if we could hang for the day and we had lots of laughs together. Though terrified of heights, Nina wanted to ride to the top of Monte Solaro, so after we took the bus up that hairy mountain road to Anacapri, I encouraged her on to the chairlift to the summit. The views were amazing but her fear (not helped by the swinging seat and creak of the cable grip) kept her eyes closed for most of it. The peak gifted a 360ᵒ panorama of the island, Sorrentine Peninsula, Gulf of Salerno, Bay of Naples, and the distant Amalfi Coast… all smashing, but time was tight and after some pictures and a wander around we had to get back in the chairlift line if we were going to make the 4pm return ferry. That’s when I remembered I hadn’t planted Brian’s pebble anywhere so opted for the low stone wall beside our queue. A bit meh, but that magnificent backdrop made up for it. The green glass of the pebble caught the light but unless you looked closely you wouldn’t immediately notice it, so he should stay put for a while.

The return ferry ride reminded me why boats and I don’t always get along and I was awfully glad to get back to the cobblestones. Dining al fresco on that balmy evening appealed but Bar Napoli, familiar and friendly, whistled me back for more. The animated waiters would feign horror at my aversion to coffee but the food was tasty and they insisted on seating me, duchess-like, where I could see the bay lights and be attended to regularly. Eating alone does not bother me but usually means being parked in a corner, so I lapped up the special treatment. Good thing I didn’t read the bar’s Tripadvisor reviews first – most rated it poor to ordinary, the opposite to my experience there… and another reason to remember opinions are just that. Research can be useful, but sometimes ignorance is most definitely bliss.